I'll Run Again In Heaven

I'm hoping that I do run again in heaven hence the title for my e-book. I have multiple sclerosis. I was diagnosed 16 years ago but in the past year my MS has taken my walking. I've learned in the past year what it means to be disabled. Now that I know the symptoms I can date it back to at least 1980. In my 20's and 30's I was a jogger, biker, golfer, softball player and an open racquetball player. Open is the highest level a person can reach. I now ride an electric scooter 100% of the time when I'm outdoors. Inside my apartment I either use a walker or I stumble around leaning on walls, chairs, etc. Coming from my athletic background this has taken some mental adjustment on my part but it can be done. I also suffer from severe fatigue which can come on at anytime and anywhere. Since I have my scooter (Max) I now consider my fatigue as more of a problem than my walking. Max and I can get everywhere I need to go. I've written an e-book about my life and below is an excerpt.

This is the story of a ham and egger. A close friend of mine uses that term quite often and his definition of a ham and egger is someone who's out in the real world grunting out a living. I wish I could say I'm rich and famous but I'm not. I'm just like 95% of the population out there grunting out a living with one exception. In 1991 I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It's hard to believe it's been 16 years since my diagnosis. I love to talk and when you're reading this if it seems like I'm rambling from one topic to another I probably am. That's one of my MS symptoms. I call it babbling or rambling. Doctors call it disinhibition. I just have an inclination to say what's on my mind no matter who it affects.

I love to have fun and I've been told I have a great personality. I'm very honest and trustworthy. I would give the shirt off my back to someone that needed it. On July 15th of 2007 it will mark my diagnosis anniversary and I'm still out there grunting! At times I get down but I don't stay that way very long. There is so much to do in life. If you can get over the fact that you're going to be doing those things sitting down helps you accept your disease. In my e-book I want to explain MS and some of my MS symptoms. I also want to tell you about my businesses that I'm still able to do. It's very inexpensive to get started and although I'm going to market it to everyone I'm especially going to target it towards disabled people.
I'm now 49 and I can trace my symptoms back to at least 1980. I've had this disease in my body for half of my life. I remember when I was a little boy growing up in Rochester, Minnesota. A public service announcement on TV (this was the 60's) showed people in wheelchairs with the tag line, "MS, the crippler of young adults". I don't think that tag line would work well these days in our politically correct world but back then it was OK. I myself was diagnosed at the age of 33. It's ironic that I have the disease now and I can still remember those public service announcements from 40+ years ago.

As my body deteriorates right in front of my eyes I have to laugh at myself at the things I have trouble doing that were once so easy for me. An example would be picking up my socks from the floor. I can no longer bend over making pickups hard. I either have to sit down and reach for my socks or I have to lean on something sturdy and with my free hand I then can make the pickup. One thing I've learned is that there is always a solution to getting things done. I used to be a pretty good athlete and at times it has to bother me subconsiously that I can't do simple things anymore. Bending over to pick up that pair of socks takes more time but it can be done!

When I finally went in to see a neurologist in 1991 I was unsure what the heck was wrong with me. I had blurry eyes when I jogged, numbness and tingling on the right side of my body, I was having trouble urinating, I wasn't sleeping too well, I had a slight limp and a myriad of other problems happening to my body. What could be wrong with me I asked? It had taken me a year and a half to get in to see an optician and it would be another 3 months before I finally had the diagnosis I was looking for. Believe it or not by the time I got my diagnosis I was actually relieved that I had multiple sclerosis! I didn't know what course it would take but at least I had a name for all my symptoms. I also knew that I didn't have something more serious like a cancer, ALS, or any other "major" problems that can kill a person. I had been on a roller coaster ride for over 18 months wondering what was wrong with me but now I finally knew!